Current location:	coming tomorrow: The First Round
Current mood:	full
Current music:	"The Legionnaire's Lament (The Decembrists)

The Presidential Tournament, part 1
Play-In Round:

Wacky Right-Wingers:
Wayne Allyn Root (Libertarian Party [hereinafter "L"])
v. Ron Paul (Republican Party [hereinafter "R"])
There's only oxygen enough for one anarchist bomb-thrower in the race, and Paul sucks it all in.

Wacky Left-Wingers:
Cynthia McKinney (Green Party [hereinafter "G"])
v. Dennis Kucinich (Democratic Party [hereinafter "D"])
The Democrats kicked that loon McKinney out, but not before she bacame a national joke. Even Kookcinich is less reviled.

Lame Governors:
Bill Richardson (D)
v. Tom Vilsack (D)
Richardson votes for himself; everyone else falls asleep.

Independents [hereinafter "I"]:
Michael Bloomberg (D, then R, then I)
v. Ralph Nader (D, then G, then I)
Not content with just embarrassing New York City, Bloomy considers going nationwide.

Stuck in the Minors:
George "Macaca" Allen (R), Dick Cheney (Imperial Party), Al Gore (D), Don Grundmann (Constitution Party), [a randomly selected] Kennedy (D), Steve Kubby (L), Brian Moore (Socialist Party), Frank Moore (I), Sam Nunn (D), Ross Perot (I), Colin "Don't Call Me 'Colon'" Powell (R), Condoleeza Rice (R), and Rick Santorum (R).

Results:
Paul gets the #8 seed in the Repub bracket.
Kucinich gets the #6 on the Demo side; Richardson is #5.
Bloomy gets a Bye to the Finals.
The others go home with a ceramic Dalmatian.